Treasure Hunting

I come from a serious line of treasure hunters, from Grandpa Grams to Dad and on to me. We’re not treasure hunters in the traditional, everyone-else-thinks-this-is-valuable-too sense. We’re more the one-man’s-trash-is-another-man’s-treasure kind. True, I didn’t always appreciate a good deal or the thrill of the hunt, but now I share their fierce love of the bargain and will seek it out at yard sales, thrift stores, flea markets and antique shops. There’s something exciting about finding a treasure that has value to me, however small or insignificant it may seem to someone else.

Lately, I’ve come to view my study of the Bible in much the same way. Whether I’m sitting in Bible class, having family devotion time with the kids, or studying on my own, I enjoy the thrill of treasure hunting through God’s Word.

Sometimes the gems I find are “small” ones: realizing that we don’t know for sure what kind of fruit Eve ate in the garden (Did you know the Bible never calls it an apple?), or being reminded that Jonah was swallowed by a big fish (Did you know the Bible never calls it a whale?), or learning that the wise men were not present at the birth of Jesus, that they came later when He was a small Child. Discoveries like these are valuable to me because they remind me to take care when I’m reading God’s Word and not to infuse my own assumptions into it.

Oftentimes, the gems are “bigger”: Grasping God’s plan of Salvation through the history of the world and seeing how He preserved both His Word and the line of people from which the Savior came. I am also humbled when the Spirit reminds me of my sinful nature and constant failings while at the same time washing me clean in grace and forgiveness, or when my studies reveal just how different the nature and actions of God and His Son are from my own. Discoveries like these are valuable to me because they remind me that He is in control and will work all things for my spiritual good.

What’s it like to be on a spiritual treasure hunt, you ask? Well, you know that feeling you get when you’re sitting in the pew at church and you are suddenly overcome with stunned shock because it feels like the pastor is speaking directly to you? Almost as if he has read your thoughts and written his sermon for you alone? Or how about those days the world seems to be crumbling down around you, and when you open your Bible and cry out to the Lord for comfort, He leads you to that perfect chapter and verse? Congratulations! You have experienced the thrill of treasure hunting and the joy of finding the prize.

It’s pretty phenomenal, isn’t it? The Bible is the only book that you could study your entire life and still be amazed as if you were reading it for the first time. There is always, always treasure to find. So my prayer for the New Year is this: May each of us hunt for treasure through diligent and careful study of God’s Word, and may each expedition yield precious rewards – the special kind that should not only be kept hidden safely in our hearts, but also freely shared with others.

Happy Hunting!

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The Art of Being Thankful

Yesterday, you may have heard, I had a frustrating experience. Someone snuck into my car and sprayed perfume all over the place. As a person who doesn’t wear perfume myself (because it gives me headaches), this was a discouraging discovery. The ride home felt longer than usual, and even after we got home I smelled perfume on the kids, in our hair and on our clothes, on my new coat, and on the anniversary gift I bought for my husband. I parked in our garage and rolled the windows down for the night. Later, Nathanael went out and told me the whole garage had filled with the scent.

I spent a good part of my evening alternating between feeling hurt and being angry. I wanted to know who did it, and why. I wanted an apology. I wanted help getting the smell out of the car. I wanted to yell at that person, “Do you have any idea how busy I am this week? How much I have to do? I don’t have time for this!”

So often, this is my reaction when such things happen. It may be a disagreement with a friend or family member, it may be a personal health struggle or financial worries, it may be a disappointment in church or school situations, or concerns over issues that extend to our government and even beyond our own nation. Whatever the particular event, my reaction is often to let the negative consume me. To allow it to push more immediate and important priorities out of my mind in order to give it the room its needs to fester and grow.

Paul gave advice to the Philippian congregation that helps me greatly in times like this. He says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (4:8)

I find it interesting that he uses the word “meditate.” I don’t know why my natural inclination is to remember the bad things in each day, but this passage reminds me it doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way. I have a choice when it comes to where I place my focus, what thoughts I allow to play over and over in my mind, and what I choose to meditate on.

I’m reminded of the day, many years ago, that I asked my mom why she didn’t keep a journal or diary. She just laughed and said, “It’s because I don’t want to remember all that stuff!” At first I was confused. But later I understood when I reread my own journal and found a record of hurtful or embarrassing experiences that I’d do better to forget.

I still like to journal, and to record specific events and occasions in my life, but the passage above has helped me understand how to better do this. Instead of keeping a regular journal, I now keep what I call a blessing journal. It’s a very simple record of the praiseworthy things that happen in my life. At the top of each page I write “Thank you, God, for…” or “I’m thankful for…” It’s my way of meditating on such things, as the Bible instructs me to do. Here are a few samplings from my journal from the last few years:

  • Seeing Noah’s after-bath foot print on the bath mat
  • Fleece blankets with silky edges
  • Spaghetti
  • A phone call with Dad
  • A husband who reads to our sons
  • Valentines from Rebekah
  • Naps in the sunshine
  • Being brave enough to cross the rope bridge at the Children’s Museum
  • Luke and Katie home for the summer
  • Minnesota song birds in the morning
  • A snow day!
  • Barney Borth stopping by early to plow us out
  • Light up Christmas pens
  • A massive migraine wasn’t exactly a blessing, but having a loving family to care for me was.

Journaling this way has proved just what I need to keep my perspective on all the blessings in my life as opposed to those things that cause discord. Obviously I still have days like yesterday where it’s a little harder to do. The Devil knows just how to use my weak and sinful flesh against me. Those are the days I remember the Philippians passage and challenge myself to find something good that happened, however small it may be.

Last night, before bed, I thought, What do I have to be thankful for today? The perfume incident shrunk away as I realized how many ways God had blessed me throughout the day. He gave me a safe ride home…encouragement and humor from friends…a husband who had a hot supper waiting when we walked in the door…a phone call from Luke, and another from Katie…hugs from the Kindergartners at school…and bubble bath, just to name a few.

There is always – always — something to be thankful for, something to meditate on that gives glory to God. I have come to believe that the art of being thankful has less to do with saying the words and more to do with opening my eyes to see my blessings in the first place.

Lastly, even when I am hard pressed to find something good, I can still rely on the promise of my God: “…all things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends! May you rest in Him when life has you down and may you trust that His plan for your life will always result in blessings!

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Seeds of Neglect

At the beginning of 2016, our local Target store closed. I was surprised at how quickly the entire property assumed an air of neglect. By late spring, the landscaping was overgrown, parking lot cracks sprouted unsightly weeds, and trash accumulated along the sidewalk. Although I know these changes happened gradually, it didn’t seem that way. It felt as though one day everything looked just fine, and the next it looked sad, run down, forgotten.

I imagine I can be much like this closed store. My heart needs daily time in God’s Word. Without it, I quickly see signs of neglect sprouting up in my life. Seeds of doubt and worry take root. They break through into my heart where they begin to grow. They push my Savior out of the way, and rearrange my priorities. Worldly philosophies blow in and settle in the recesses of my mind. I begin to question that which is true and absolute. I become confused about right and wrong. I wonder what direction to go in life. I feel hallowed out and empty, and I wonder: How did this happen all of the sudden? When did fear replace faith, and thus despair replace joy?

Maybe this has never happened to you. But I find myself sliding into the same old patterns time and again. I’ve even blogged about it before, and I still fail to stop myself from unintentionally sewing seeds of neglect in my life. These changes are gradual, too. One day I skip devotion or prayer time because I’m too tired or too busy. Another day, I might pray but while my lips speak to my God, my mind runs through the To Do list, and when the prayer is over I have no recollection of it. These gradual changes eventually lead to a neglected spiritual life filled with weeds of discontent and trouble.

This is why daily use of the Word is essential. It’s the one habit I can’t afford to give up. When Jesus told the parable of the Sower and the Seed (Luke 8), He taught us that sometimes it’s the concerns of this life that choke out our use of the Word and can ultimately lead to spiritual death. I used to think He was speaking of ungodly concerns or bad habits. But what He actually says is there are those who are “choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of this life.” He doesn’t say they are sinful cares, only that they choke out His Word. Of this I am most definitely guilty.

Every evening when our family sits down for prayers, the last song we sing is a blessing. The words are: Lord, bless and keep Thou me as Thine. Lord, make Thy face upon me shine. Lord, lift Thy countenance on me; And give me peace, sweet peace, from Thee. Sadly, there are many nights I sing on auto pilot, not thinking and not registering what this blessing means for me. Other nights, thankfully, are different. Those are the times I sing and marvel that I can directly ask the Creator of the world to look favorably upon me. I feel God’s peace settle over me, surround me and fill me. And I wonder why I am so foolish as to let anyone or anything else take precedence in my life and heart.

May our loving Father give us grace and mercy to always make time for Him and to gladly abide in His Word. And if we are to neglect anything, may it be only those things that pull us away from Him.

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What Women Need

A few days ago we got into a discussion at our house about the movie Deadpool. Maybe you’ve heard of it. I, in my happy state of ignorance, had not. I was under the impression that it was just a quirky little Spiderman spin-off, and I figured at some point I’d watch it because Spiderman is my favorite comic book hero.

As our discussion continued, it became clear that Deadpool is in a class all by itself. And I don’t mean that in a good way. My first clue was the R rating. All the other Marvel movies are PG-13. Why the need to do something different with this one? I pulled up a parent’s guide to ratings and was instantly disturbed at the content listed in this movie. I’ll give you the cliff notes version: Graphic nudity and sex, language, violence, gore, and profanity. My stomach began a steady ache the more I read. It was past midnight by the time I went to bed, my thoughts churning.

You must think me pretty naive to be so shaken by one raunchy movie. But it’s more than that. It’s a culmination of so many things: My son coming home from camp with questions about dirty jokes or obscene gestures, The constant struggle in our home over dressing modestly, My discouragement and frustration over easy access to pornography, The wisdom it takes (that I feel so lacking in) to raise the four teenagers who live with me, My struggle to be stronger and more influential with my children than the peer pressure they are around each day, My need to be vigilant in my own marriage and to protect the relationship God has blessed me with. More and more I have felt weary from the constant, daily battle we face against sexually immoral sins.

I’ve begun to think sexual sin may well be the greatest challenge facing Christianity today. Satan, ever the subtle predator, knows just how enticing this particular temptation is. We don’t even have to go looking for it, it often finds us. And not only that, we are also buying into the lie that it’s harmless. We’ve become so desensitized to what is appropriate entertainment that we’re no longer filtering what enters our minds and hearts.

So more and more lately I’ve been wondering: What can we, the body of Christ, do to fight this battle? While we can, and should, do everything possible to avoid sinful forms of entertainment, it goes much deeper than that. I believe it starts with Christian Men.

We need you to take the lead on this one. We need you to protect what comes into our homes, to protect our children from being sucked in through mobile devices and home computers. We need you to turn off that rated R movie that’s rife with sex and nudity. We need you to understand what it’s like to try to be a modest woman in a world that exploits the female body, a world with effortless access to pornography – because sometimes we wonder if that’s what we’re supposed to look like or act like in order to make you happy. We need you to look past what your eyes can see and love who we really are, underneath the surface. We need you to find value in the “incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (I Peter 3:4) We need you to turn away from any form of media that degrades women, that turns us into sexual objects. We need you to be an example for our sons on how to live in a world that despises and undermines His plan for sex. We need you to value our daughters and show them that there is a good and healthy kind of attention and it shouldn’t come from the way their clothes fit and their bodies look. We need the reminder that sex, as God designed it, is a beautiful and wonderful thing, meant to be shared between husband and wife alone. We need you to lead us daily in the Word of God and prayer, for we have learned from our Savior that Scripture is the only sure defense against the Devil.

We need a lot, don’t we? But we aren’t the only ones asking you. God has created you for this purpose. To love your families and lead your families in the same way Christ leads His Church. With His help, you, Christian Men can do this, and we will stand by your side for the fight.

And finally, “…be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:10-13)

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Real Rest

We just got home from a week-long vacation at a state park, and it was amazing to have my entire family together – 46 people to be precise. What a blessing it was to have that time together! The week went all too quickly, though. It seemed I blinked and vacation was over. I was sad to hug everyone good bye, but happy and excited for something else: Sleeping once again in my own bed.

I must be getting old because it’s becoming harder and harder for me to get a good night’s sleep anywhere else. It didn’t help that the beds in our cabin had terrible springs. As soon as I laid down, my mattress curled around me like a taco shell. There were lots of bugs, too. It’s hard to sleep with something black, leggy and hairy crawling above your head. Add to that weird noises, nightly treks to the bathroom, and an overactive imagination and you have a recipe for some long and sleepless nights.

As the week wore on, I longed more and more for my own bed, in my own bedroom, under my own blankets. I wanted to sleep in a climate-controlled room with blue flowered curtains and a reading lamp. Most of all, I wanted to wake up feeling a little more refreshed and lot less like showering in coffee. That stuff at the campground was just a poor imitation of rest. I ached for the real thing, a rest so complete I couldn’t find it anywhere else.

My soul feels this way too. This sinful world was never meant to be my home, and as the years of my life tick by I understand that more and more. I feel the stresses of life taking their toll on me. I’m tired and worn out from trying to find rest for my soul. I long for The Real Thing. Not just a temporary solution, but permanent deliverance. The rest I long for can’t be found anywhere other than Jesus. How I ache to be with Him, to rest in His arms, to lay my head on His shoulder, and to be at perfect peace.

My beautiful Grandma, who has spent roughly the last two months hospitalized, began hospice care a few days ago. I have said good bye to her, for now. And while I’m so sad that I will no longer enjoy her presence this side of heaven, I’m wildly excited for her that soon she will see Jesus. She will receive her crown of life, along with real rest from the curse of sin. Grandma used to tell me she looked at life as one long journey, the destination being Heaven. Now that her journey is almost complete, I know she wouldn’t want to go back and begin again. She’s ready to be where she belongs – to be Home. One day, by Jesus’ grace, I will be in heaven too. It will be like coming home and falling into my own, familiar bed.

What about you? Are you tired? Looking for real rest? Look no further than Jesus, Who lovingly invites all: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28)




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Why Go To Church?

A few weeks ago, my three-year-old asked, “Mom, do we have church today?”

It happened to be a Thursday afternoon, so I said, “No. Not today.”

He cocked his head thoughtfully to one side and asked one more question. “Why do we go to church?”

That’s a good one, Noah. Why do we go to church?

At first I rattled off a bunch of Old Standby Answers:
We go to church to learn about how much God loves us.
We go to church to pray and sing songs to Jesus.
We go to church hear God’s Word.

But I kept going and suddenly, I wasn’t talking to Noah anymore. I was listing more reasons, for myself.
We go to church because we are full of sin, and need to be assured that Jesus has fully paid our debt of sin before God.
We go to church because our souls need to be fed and nourished with God’s Word.
We go to church so we may be renewed and energized for the week ahead.
We go to church because the world is falling apart around us and we need to cling to God’s Truth.
We go to church to enjoy fellowship with our Christian brothers and sisters, to be a blessing to one another.
We go to church to learn more and be reminded all ALL the amazing things God has done for us.

Dear Friends, summer is now upon us. We all know this time of year masquerades as leisurely and relaxing when in reality we’re busier than ever. We’ll be tempted to push church to the back burner in favor of more “important” events. When that happens, I encourage you to remember all the reasons we go to church. Use my list or come up with your own, but think about it. The simple truth is this:  Church isn’t something YOU do for God. It’s something HE does for you.

I was glad when they said to me, “Let us go into the house of the Lord.”
Psalm 122:1


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Mark’s Mistake

Nearly every morning during our drive to school, I use the time to help my second grader with his memory work. I love that he goes to a school that views God’s Word as the most important subject, and one that requires he learn three Bible passages each week. Helping Mark memorize various passages has been a good review for me as well, not to mention the interesting discussions we get into as we talk about what each passage means.

A few weeks ago I was helping him learn Psalm 50:15 which reads:
“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” This was a familiar passage to me, one I have read so many times that I didn’t really think about the precious promise contained inside. I only thought, This is an easy one. Mark will have no trouble understanding it or learning it.

To help Mark memorize it, I read it, phrase by phrase, and he repeated it. We did this several times until I felt Mark was ready to try and say it on his own. “Call upon Me in the day of trouble,” Mark said, “I will…I will…forsake you…” The other three kids overheard his mistake and giggled into their hands. I smiled and said, “Oops, that’s not quite right. It should be ‘I will deliver you’, not ‘I will forsake you.’”

Mark didn’t think much of his mistake beyond trying to say the correct word next time, but it got me to thinking. It was such a small thing, this little mistake, this replacement of one word with another. But, wow. What a difference that word makes for each of us.

In my mind, I said Mark’s version of the passage:
“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will forsake you…”
A flood of “What Ifs” stormed my thoughts. What if we didn’t know whether or not God was listening when we called upon Him?What if we couldn’t be sure He would deliver us from our troubles? What if He actually did forsake us, and left us to deal with our sins alone?

They were sobering thoughts, especially since I’ve been troubled over different things both in my personal life and in the lives of my family and friends lately. I see how desperately we need God to help us each moment. In my distress, I’ve called upon the Lord, many times. I’ve prayed without ceasing, as He tells me to in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. Thankfully, He has delivered me, as well as those friends and family members, in truly amazing ways. In some cases He has answered in a very direct way, in others He has offered grace to sustain until the trial passes. But in no way, for any of my prayers, has He forsaken me or them. And because I know He promises to deliver us, I can leave all my worries and troubles with Him.

Mark’s mistake that day made me see Psalm 50:15 in a new light, and it put a much needed perspective on life for me. Whatever I may face today, tomorrow, or in the years to come, my Lord is near and His deliverance is guaranteed. This is truly cause to glorify my God!



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Satan’s Request

A few nights ago, in our family devotion time, we read what I believe is one of the most chilling sections in all of Scripture: Luke 22: 31-32. It reads, “And the Lord said, ‘Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail…’”

I may not know the exact process of sifting wheat during that time in history, but I do know the idea is to start with a grain of wheat, harvested from the field, and to end with a smooth flour fit for baking. Imagine this grain of wheat, ground, completely crushed, and still not finished until it’s sifted to powder. Now imagine that grain of wheat is replaced with a person’s soul.

This was Satan’s request. To take Peter, and not only crush him, but to grind him down completely. Though Satan may not have asked for me or you by name, he surely wants to do the same to us. This is the enemy we face, and yet, somehow, it’s easy to forget about him. Even though I’ve been warned in 1 Peter 5:8 that the devil “walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour,” I fail to fully comprehend the danger.

I’ve never had much cause to encounter a lion in my life, so best I can do is imagine what it would be like to look out the front window and see one prowling around the front yard. What I don’t have to imagine, however, is living across the street from two aggressive doberman pinschers, who strained at the leash  any time we went outside to get the mail. It happened one day that their chains broke and both dogs were free to roam the neighborhood. My heart nearly gave out when I saw one in our yard, sniffing the daffodils.  Let me tell you, I not only hustled my children inside the house, I kept a constant vigil at my window until animal control arrived.

This kind of vigilance is how I should guard my heart against Satan, yet because I can’t see the danger I often fool myself into thinking it’s not such a big deal – which of course only makes it more of a threat. The words of Jesus to Peter reminded me that this thinking couldn’t be farther from the truth. It was as if He said to me, “Debra, Debra, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat…” Reread that sentence and substitute my name with yours. If that’s not enough to make your blood run cold, I don’t know what will.

The good news is this chilling realization has me running straight to the arms of Jesus. Just as He prayed for Peter, so also He prays for me. If you read through the entire chapter of Luke 22, you’ll see Jesus was pretty busy when He received Satan’s request for Peter. The chief priests and scribes were plotting to kill Him in secret, Judas was conspiring to betray Him, Jesus Himself was preparing His disciples for replacing the old covenant (Passover) with the new (the Lord’s Supper), and in the midst of all this He knew the hour was at hand for His death. Yet despite all that weighed on His mind, He wasn’t thinking of himself, as I surely would’ve been. He wasn’t too busy or preoccupied to pray for Peter – that his faith not fail.

He’s not too busy for you or me either. He is our great High Priest, Who lives to pray continually that our faith may not fail. “Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.” (Hebrews 2:17) He is our champion before God, our powerful Redeemer, who ever lives and always pleads for us before the Father. If that doesn’t comfort, reassure, and bring complete joy, I don’t know what will.

Jesus praying     Yes, Satan is asking.

But, thank God, Jesus is praying.

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My Fault

Noah sat on my lap during family devotion time. When it came time to pray, he folded his hands piously and closed one eye. He kept the other eye open in order to make sure his brother was behaving properly. As soon as we said, “Amen” Noah pulled at my sleeve and said, “Mom! Mark wasn’t closing his eyes for the prayer!”

Lately this has been my greatest parenting challenge. How can I make my children understand that it’s not their job to correct each other? How can I make them aware of the double standard that exists when they hold others accountable to a standard they themselves can’t (or won’t) meet? Jesus understood this part of our human nature and cautioned us against it when He said, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41-42)

Truth be told, I do the same thing. We all do. It’s the nature of having a sinful heart to defend bad behavior by pointing out other bad behavior. It’s something of a consolation to say, At least I’m not the only one, as if the existence of someone else’s sin absolves me of my own. The problem that comes with such thinking is that after a time I lose any feeling of urgency about repenting of my sin before God. Instead, I’m focused on the problems and sins of others.

Take the upcoming presidential election, for example. If we could just find a moral, Christian president to lead our nation, things would be better. If we could clean up Washington, D.C., and rid our country of all the corruption, greed, and selfishness that saturates politics, things would be better. Or consider what keeps you up at night…the safety of our loved ones in a violent world, the safety of an unborn child in the womb, the constant war we wage against drug, alcohol, and sex addictions, the problems of waste in our society, food safety, environmental issues, health issues, and financial worries to name just a few.

peekaboI’d like to lay blame and say I have nothing to do with the mess our world is in. I’d like to say it was someone else’s sin, or sins much worse than my own. And Satan would love to feed me these lies, to make me forget how serious my sin is. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of condemning the sin I see in this world, without first looking at the sin inside my own heart. It reminds me of the small child who closes his eyes and says, “You can’t see me!” Just because I ignore sin, or close my eyes to it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

So where’s the good news in all of this? As always, the good news is found in Jesus Christ. By facing my sin, and realizing its seriousness, I am reminded of desperately I need Christ. I am reminded that He alone understood the full weight of sin, and its consequences, and He alone paid the full price. That’s the solution to this problem. Not by ignoring our sin, but laying it all at the foot of His cross and receiving the forgiveness He won for us.

“Everybody’s wondering how the world could get this way
If God is good, and how it could be filled with so much pain
It’s not the age-old mystery we made it out to be
Yeah, there’s a problem with the world
And the problem with the world is me

So I will look no further than a mirror
That’s where the offender hides
So great is my need for a redeemer
That I cannot trust myself
No, I cannot trust my self
I dare not trust myself
So I trust in Someone else.”

* selected lyrics from The Problem by Down Here









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Feeling Guilty

This is the thorn in my side: I feel guilty about everything. It’s ingrained in me like my compulsive desire to rearrange furniture or my fierce love of good books. As far back as I can remember I’ve felt guilty about something. I probably came out of the womb feeling guilty for the pain and inconvenience it caused Mom.

I *think* I’ve made my peace with this annoying characteristic. I’ve learned to say, “It is what it is.” Or, “This, too, shall pass.” But now and again, my guilt flairs up and I find myself in that all-too-familiar place of pondering why it is that I always feel so guilty. For example, last week I had a difference of opinion with a friend. No big deal, right? After all, opinions are subjective. Quite often, it’s merely personal preference and how can one possibly feel guilty about that? Good question, and one I ask myself all the time.

But this time was different. Because in the midst of all my soul searching, I realized a startling truth. While I feel ridiculous amounts of guilt over trivial things, I feel almost no guilt when it comes to my sin. And if there’s one area of life where guilt is the appropriate reaction, this is it. I found myself pondering a different “why”. Why don’t I feel more guilty about my sin? I walk around, blind to its seriousness and ignorant of the price tag on my debt to God. Only if my eyes were fully opened to the ugliness and filth of my sin would I truly understand the meaning of guilt.

It saddens me greatly that I can expend so much energy feeling guilty about things that don’t matter, while not feeling much of anything over the price Jesus paid to redeem me. I understand well the hymn writer’s words: “Weak is the effort of my heart, and cold my warmest thought…” It’s not enough that I fail in doing what God expects of me, I don’t even comprehend just how absolute my failure is.

But (Oh, that wonderful word), Jesus forgives me this as well. He absolves me of all my guilt, even the guilt I should feel and don’t. My beautiful Savior hears my every prayer and forgives my every sin. I am not worthy such great love, and yet it is mine. No strings attached, and 100% guilt free.

Dear name! The Rock on which I build,
My Shield and Hiding place;
My never-failing Treasury, filled
With boundless stores of grace.

Weak is the effort of my heart
And cold my warmest thought;
But when I see You as You are,
I’ll praise You as I ought.

(The Lutheran Hymnal, Hymn 364)

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