It occurred to me recently that I’m the kind of person who’s always waiting for something. Waiting to get married…waiting for a baby…waiting for the baby to sleep through the night, be potty trained, ride without a car seat…waiting to survive the teen years…waiting for my diet to be over…waiting for the day I’ll have more time…dreading the day I’ll have more time and therefore waiting for grandkids. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Living in the moment? Not so much.
This became even more clear this past weekend when my husband and I enjoyed a rare get-away-vacation. We had no kids along and not much of a schedule to stick to, and I thought it would be great. I pictured myself sleeping in and reading for hours on end. The truth was, it was very hard to do. Even with no schedule and no commitments, I struggled to live in the moment.
Then, when we went to church on Sunday, I was surprised at the message we heard. As usual, God spoke from His Word and reminded me of the joys that are mine right here, right now, in this very moment. The pastor preached on 2 Corinthians 6:1-10, and I was struck by verse 2 which reads, “For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.”
I’m just not a “now” kind of person, but this passage makes me want to be. Because now is the day God’s favor is resting upon me, now is the day of salvation! Now I am commended to God, secure in His grace. The apostle Paul goes on to assure believers that no matter what happens, we can rejoice because we have received God’s grace. And that grace transforms sorrow to joy, death to life, poverty to riches, and nothing to everything. (verses 9-10)
As a perpetual waiter and worrier, this is balm to my heart. As a mom who imagines every harm that may befall my children, this is true comfort. As a wife who often feels like a helpless bystander to the difficulties my husband faces, this erases all distress. As an imperfect friend, who alternates over fretting one minute and forgetting to pray the next for my loved ones, this reminds me that we have a Father who never forgets, and who has wrapped my friends and family in His grace and mercy.
Little by little, my God is teaching me how to stop waiting and to simply live out each day in confidence, not in myself, but in Him. My sinful flesh tries to rob me of the peace He gives me through my salvation. It tells me I can’t live in the moment because I have just ruined it with my sins and failures — as a believer, a mom, a wife, and a friend. As the guilt overwhelms, my flesh offers false comfort. It says, “Wait for the next time, and maybe you’ll get it right then.”
Jesus gently reminds me to stop waiting, and to rest in Him. He reminds me to look to His cross when I sin, and to lay my failure, sin and guilt there. Now the Lenten season is upon us, and what better way to be convinced of God’s love for me than to go to the cross and meditate the great lengths Jesus went to in order to make things right between God and me again. May God help me to stop waiting and enjoy this very moment, living in the light of His favor and the sweetness of my salvation.